The Politics of Kissing - or - How to Rate the Success of Work Meetings

In Brazil, the two-cheeked kiss is the standard greeting between friends and colleagues as well as between friends of friends and colleagues of colleagues of colleagues. Although some North Americans find this odd, as a good girl from Montreal, this is a custom that was already second nature, and had been incorporated into my Activities of Daily Living well before Brazil came onto the scene. What is different in Brazil though is kissing people you don't know or people you just met, particularly within an external working environment. When I first starting travelling to Brazil we used to rate our meetings by whether or not we would kiss at the end. A typical evaluation would go like this:

Colleague: Hey, how did your meeting go with the Board of Directors of Important Organization #1?
Me: Well, it started out tense since we were talking about finances, but things improved and in the end we kissed.
Colleague: And what about the meeting with the Executive Director of Important Organization #2?
Me: Not so well. It was a handshake on the way in and on the way out.
Colleague: Oh well. Maybe next time.
Me: Yeah, maybe next time. You win some, you lose some.

In Recife, or in the Northeast in general, we also end up kissing before meetings. A sure sign that things will go well! Of course, it takes a while before settling in to the task at hand since one needs to circulate the whole table kissing everyone before being able to start the meeting.

Another cultural lesson is learning how to sign written business correspondence [predominantly email]. The ubiquitous Brazilian sign-off in emails is abraços or literally, hugs. The hugs can be normal [abraços], big & singular [um grande abraço], strong [um forte abraço], for all [abraços para todos], affectionate [um abraço carinhoso] etc. Now although abraços is translated as hugs, it is used more in the manner that we would use the word cheers to end an email, and in that sense is just a standard casual sign-off, nothing more, nothing less. More formal emails would merit an antenciosmente or, attentively yours.

The trick, however, is knowing when one can and/or should switch from using atenciosamente to using abraços, since in our North American minds hugs are hugs are hugs even when they mean cheers. Is it after one email? Two emails? After meeting in person? After talking on the phone? If you are more senior than the correspondee? If you are more junior, but the correspondee uses it first? If it is a man? a woman? A Minister? An Ambassador? If you like the person? If you don't like the person? And what if the person annoys you and you don't want them to keep in touch? So many questions! Alternative sign-offs of beijos [kisses] or beijinhos [lots of little kisses] are reserved for close friends and usually cause little confusion.

In any case, after more than four years, I think that I have mastered workplace kissing and hugging and don't think that I have caused too many scandals. My problem now is when I am back in Canada and working and kissing and hugging somehow don't go hand in hand. Such a strange thought now! Perhaps an area in which I will have some reverse culture shock once back home. Until then, however, .... um forte abraço para tod@s e agradecemos a sua presença!