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Monday, October 30, 2006

M-I-A

Still haven't managed to locate my missing bank card....

I thought that maybe it was at the office, but alas, it wasn't and a tertiary search of the apartment is currently being organised. While some might think that the missing card is a sign of, ultimately, my disorganisation in life, in fact, it is more likely a sign of my paranoia. When one spends too much time concerned about one's personal security, cards & money tend to get separated as a risk management/mitigation technique. Except sometimes it backfires! Off to the search......

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Adventures in Centro

Recife's Centro is always an adventure. A tightly packed neighbourhood of narrow streets, back alleys, wholesale & retail shops, market kiosques, street hawkers, magic-potion and herb sellers, driven bargain hunters, and colonial churches, Centro is home to whatever it is that you may be looking for. Trouble is, you may end up spending hours going from store to store and sifting through mechandise that has been there since the forties mixed in with the latest tropic trends before you find it.

Each street in Centro has a theme, which makes it a bit easier to navigate - there's the sewing and related notions street, the party acessories street, the office and craft supply street, the baby clothing street, the hardware street, the shoe store street, the strange Amazonian elixirs alley, the hair saloon supply lane, etc. Even if you don't end up finding what you came for [inconceivable!], Centro is always guaranteed to be exciting.

On Saturday morning, needing to pick up a few items that are available No Where Else in the City Except Centro, I threw caution to the wind and headed downtown. On my shopping list:

1. Two spools of thread. One peach, one green. Found them in Store #2.
2. Buttons & Velcro. Found them in store #5, tucked away among sewing supplies that were probably donated to the store in the 1920s and never touched since. Discovered that velcro in Portuguese is still velcro!
3. Individually sold grommets. Found them in a back alley, hidden behind a backpack seller, a purse-mender and a snack seller.
4. Little Tool used to apply grommets. Found in store #12. Later turned out to be only the bit of a much larger tool, which I will surely not buy!
5. 3m of cord. Found in a street stand. Discovered at home that the 3m was actually 2m tied to 1m....

In all a success! Except for the part about the missized cord and the wrong tool-bit, of course. The cord I may be able to deal with, but I will most likely have to go back into Centro next weekend to get the guy who sold me the grommets - who in fact is a grommetteer by trade - to put them into my finished pieces as well. It would be too easy otherwise, wouldn't it?

Coming Soon: Adventures in Centro: Part II

Friday, October 27, 2006

Don't You Hate it When...

... you put something in a really really safe place for safe-keeping and then you can't remember where that place was? And don't you really hate it when that something was your bank card and you desperately need to transfer cash between accounts?

On the other hand, don't you really love it and totally let it go to your head when someone thinks that you are from the south of Brazil and not, for example, a foreigner?

Okay, maybe that last one isn't so widespread, but it always makes my day whenever it happens!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Lessons I Have Learned

One of the things that I have learned during my years in Brazil is that it is virtually impossible to visit a preschool without totally disrupting the class and rendering the poor teacher into a struggling sideshow, no matter how hard you might try. Bring out a camera, and you can kiss any remaining semblance of order goodbye. Since chaos is, in the end, totally inevitable, why bother even trying? Other than the crystalisation of this thought, it was good to get out of the office today for some visits in the town of Gravatá, 70km inland from Recife. Total cutie pies, no?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Six of One, A Half Dozen of the Other

Here's one for the Quirky Trivia to Keep in Your Back Pocket file. Feel free to bring it up at the Office Christmas Party when you're talking to the boss' husband and can't think of anything else to say.

The one-to-ten numbering system in Portuguese is pretty simple: um(a), dois, três, quatro, cinco, seis, sete, oito, nove, dez [yes, it looks like Spanish, except it isn't!]. Six is seis except when it's not. Then it's meia or half. Half a dozen that is. Let me back up.

Six is six when it's part of a figure. Six hundred dollars. Six o'clock. Sixty-three books. A hundred and six caipirinhas. On the other hand, six becomes meia or half when it is part of a series - telephone numbers, credit card numbers, hotel rooms, bank accounts, etc. The reason is to not confuse it with três - or three - which sounds similar, especially over the phone. So the phone number 465-3066 would read four-half-five-three-zero-half-half.

It's funny to think that six would become half in a base-ten system, but I digress....

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Baptism by ...

I baptised my car this past weekend. It’s around six months old, so I guess that it was time and all. I hadn’t planned things to happen quite the way they did, but who does? Coming home from lunch on Sunday, I decided to do the responsible thing and pop into the grocery store and pick up the week’s supplies. Since I had the car, I also bought some heavier items including a couple of bottles of wine. One of the bottles was a Santa Helena, a Chilean red that I quite like. The other – an Argentinean red – I must admit, I judged by the label alone – it was a colourful, stylised painting of two tango dancers – and I had no idea of its worth or taste.

The checkout line was brutally slow¹ and I breathed a sigh of relief when it was finally my turn. Bagging my own purchases, I hesitated when I got to the two wine bottles. Should I double bag? Should I only put one bottle per bag? Thinking over the situation – the bottles would i) be transferred from the cart to my car in a matter of seconds; ii) be transferred from my car to another cart in my parking garage; and finally iii) would be transferred from this second cart directly onto my kitchen counter – the wastage of so many plastic bags seemed unnecessary. I used one (Brazilian – I’m sure you can see where this is going) bag for both bottles.

After paying, I loaded my bags back into the cart and headed to the parking lot, opened the trunk of the car, and started transferring my purchases. Everything seemed to happen in slow (but incredibly quick at the same time) motion when I got to the wine. I mindlessly lifted the bag from the cart and in the half a second that the bag was between the cart and the car, the bottom of the bag split and the bottle of Argentinean red fell noiselessly to the concrete floor, smashing violently and breaking into dozens of pieces, dying both the floor and parts of my car’s bumper red. What to do, except carefully clean up the glass and slink quietly away, hoping that not too many people saw the poor foreigner trying to skimp on bags?

Things I am thankful for: i) that the bottle did not actually break on the car – that would have been sad; and ii) that the bottle did not break in the car – that would have stunk.

Lessons Learned: there is a reason why bag packers in Brazilian supermarkets doublebad single items. At least the Santa Helena survived!

¹ It took twenty-five minutes to process two (!!) clients in front of me.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Relativity

This morning I talked to a good friend who is flying to Afghanistan tomorrow, heading out on a six month rotation with Canada's mission in Kandahar. Since January of this year, over forty Canadian soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan. It puts things in Brazil in perspective. Stay safe, okay Dave.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

What Goes Around Comes Around

Back in April, when my mom was visiting, my friend Andréa spent a couple of afternoons taking us around to see the sites [my car was languishing at the dealer's waiting for the infamous nota fiscal to arrive from São Paulo]. One of our trips was a Saturday afternoon visit to the town of Igarassu, 30km north of Recife. Igarassu was founded in 1535 and was one of the first points of colonisation after the Portuguese discovery of Brazil. In fact, the first church built in Igarassu - São Cosme e São Damião (above) - was the second to be built in Brazil and is now considered the oldest in the country as the first [built in São Vicente in the state of São Paulo] collapsed and was washed out to sea. São Cosme e São Damião was built in the mannerist style which predates baroque. It was baroquified over the years and then returned to it original mannerist form following the most recent renovation. The Santo Antonio Franciscan convent just down the hill houses one of the most important collections of Brazilian religious colonial art and is an extraordinarily well preserved example of baroque mixed with a bit of mannerism.

Igarassu retains the feel of a small village even though the population tips the scales at 86,000. The three churches which form the historic centre are well preserved and merit a couple of hours of visiting. Following our stop in Igarassu, we continued on our way to the village of Itamaracá where we visited the Forte Orange or Orange Fort built by the Dutch in the first half of the 17th Century. We then enjoyed fried fish and manioc on the beach and a gorgeous sunset before heading back to the city.

Well yesterday, it was my time to complete the karma. A friend, his uncle visiting from Ireland, and I bundled ourselves into my car and headed out on the same journey. The meaning of it didn't quite sink in until we were safely enjoying our meal on the beach. We did make a few substitutions: we switched Forte Orange for the Manatee Rehabilitation Centre which are right next to each other and then the fish for sundried meat. Other than that, the visits were identical. When I mentioned this to my co-travellers, my friend laughed and said "does that mean in a few months time I will have a car and will be taking another expat and their visiting mother/father/uncle/aunt/cousin/sibling on this route?" Could be, could be!

In any case, it was great to see the sites again - each time I retain a little more! Being a little bit difficult to access without a car, Igarassu is not on many visitors' itineraries, but is well worth the extra effort to get there.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Does Human Egoism Know No Bounds?

On September 29th, a Brazilian commercial jet crashed in the Amazon forest killing all 155 people aboard, allegedly following a collision with a small, private, American plane heading towards the States. The Brazilian jet was flying from Manaus to Brasilia, a route that I did less then two years ago. The American six-seater managed to land safely and the black boxes of both are currently being analysed in Canada (a neutral third party). Although I personally did not, my office knew two people on board the Brazilian plane, both of whom were dedicated human rights advocates, one of whom was the mother of a small toddler.

On October 10th, one of the Americans aboard the private plane, a journalist with the New York Times wrote the following piece:


Lessons I Have Learned in my Fifteen Minutes of Fame

My 15 minutes of fame are about over, I profoundly hope. I will not be applying for an extension. So instead, let me share two major lessons I learned after six others and I inexplicably survived a midair collision at 37,000 feet in a business jet over the Amazon rain forest on Sept. 29 — while 154 others in a 737 we apparently collided with fell to horrible deaths in a jungle about 600 miles northwest of Brasília.

First, as business travel stretches all over the world, understand that no matter how innocent you are, no matter how safe you think you are, big trouble can envelop you without warning, and it is a good idea to have a support system in place.

Second, you are an idiot if you travel internationally without a cellphone that will actually work internationally. Meet such an idiot: me. My Verizon phone works fine in the United States. Outside the United States, I might as well be holding a hot dog with mustard in my hand.

"Ouch," said Bruce McIndoe when I told him that I found myself incommunicado, with a useless cellphone, at an obscure air base called Campo de Provas Brigadeiro Velloso in the middle of the rain forest after our harrowing landing in a damaged Legacy 600 business jet.

Mr. McIndoe is the chief executive of iJet Intelligent Risk Systems, a company in Annapolis, Md., that provides predeparture intelligence and on-site crisis intervention for travelers around the world.

Actually, there was no cellphone signal in the Amazon, where we were told — improbably I thought — that there was only one telephone line for the whole base [ed. note: I believe it!]. After 24 hours at the base, we were transferred by military aircraft to police headquarters in Cuiabá, in the state of Mato Grosso, about 450 miles south.

There, a cellphone signal was available when we touched down on the runway. Naturally, my fellow passengers needed theirs to communicate with loved ones and their employers. In an act of extraordinary generosity, one of the pilots, Joe Lepore, who is still in custody in Brazil, allowed me to use his phone to call my wife.

I’m an experienced traveler. How could I be so utterly unable to minimally control my own situation?

... yadda yadda yadda my cellphone my cellphone my cellphone ...

Others expressed some surprise that I would find myself in a jam without a cellphone.

"That actually is pretty dumb, Joe," said Connie Freeman, a former global travel director for Pitney Bowes who is now vice president of Management Alternatives, a company that advises corporate travel directors on cost controls.

....

It’s a given that you have a working cellphone. "Look, it’s global village time, Joe. Hello," said Peter Greenberg, the travel editor of the "Today" show who travels internationally about 250,000 miles a year. "It’s all about options. There are three kinds of people: People who make things happen, people who watch things happen and people who wonder what happened," he said. "If I don’t have the option of being connected, I’m going to be in the third category and I am not going to be a happy camper."

... more yadda yadda yadda more my cellphone my cellphone my cellphone ...

Is it just me, or shouldn't the lessons learned in a situation as traumatic as this be things like Live everyday to the fullest or Don't be so hard on your kids next time they light the carpet on fire or Always tell your family that you love them rather than this drivel? One hundred and fifty-five people died and all this guy learned was to buy a better cellphone? Is anyone else as disgusted as I?

Thanks to Leandra for sharing the article.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Two More Things I Could Do Without

Adding to my list of one thing that I could do without, I would like to add two more items:

1. Drunk Drivers. Eight days ago, a drunk driver in an SUV hit a car parked outside my building, served towards the sidewalk, hit the accelerator, crossed two metres of sidewalk, went up four stairs, broke through the glass doors to the building and continued up two more stairs before finally coming to a stop. The driving then panicked, reversed down the various levels of stairs, across the sidewalk and sped away into the night. No one was hurt and we now have plywood covering the front entrance of the building.

2. UHT Milk.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

A Quick Trip to Suburban USA

This afternoon, I took a quick trip to suburban USA. I swore that I would never do it – there is too much great stuff going on here to warrant it. But today, for some reason, I succumbed to the idea. I had lunch at Applebees - Americas Favourite Neighbor with no 'u'. It must have been the bright lights and glitter that got me.

Newly installed in Recife ten or so months ago, it was just like the ‘burbs – club sandwich and fries, veggie wraps, burgers with melted cheese and bacon, nachos, caesar salad and Sportsnet on the plasma screen (at least it was playing the Brazilian triathlon championship currently taking place in Santos). Aside from a few oddly out of place pieces of Brazilian folk art on the walls (permission for that must have been a bureaucratic nightmare), I could have been anywhere. I was anywhere. It was like a little piece of North America plunked down in the middle of tropical Brazil; free pop refills, Heinz ketchup, suburban furnishings and all. I have to say though, weirdness and trepidation aside, my burger and fries were pretty good.

Now you’d think that if a piece of suburban North America is going to be allowed to invade the tropics, the least they could do would be open for breakfast as well. I can't believe that I am posting this!

Friday, October 06, 2006

caipirissima City Guide: Rio de Janeiro

In light of a recent surge of "Should we go to Rio? How long should we spend in Recife? What are Salvador and São Paulo like?" queries, I’ve decided to run a caipirissima City Guide series. The first in the series is, even though I was most recently in São Paulo, the Cidade Maravilhosa, Rio de Janeiro. Enjoy!

*** Don’t Miss ***

*** Corcovado – Touristy? Yes. Necessary? Yes. Unless you hit a completely cloudless stretch, it’s hard to plan when exactly to head up Corcovado since the summit is often hidden by one stubborn cloud. The best strategy is to loosely plan your day and then head up if the weather is nice (i.e.: the cloud is gone) or reschedule if the view looks questionable. You can go up by taxi or by cogwheel train. The train is nicer as it passes through the forest and a taxi charges the same price per person as the train anyway. Take a cab only if you are pressed for time or the wait time for the train is too long. Near the train station is a Naïve Art gallery, which is worth a stop on the way back.

*** Pão de Açucar – Everyone asks which view is better, from Corcovado or the Pão de Açucar. My personal opinion (please don’t tell the Tourism Bureau) is that if you can really truly only do one of the two, then choose Corcovado as the view looks out towards the bay and is particularly stunning (this picture of Pão was taking from Corcovado). On the other hand, if you are in Rio for work and are only free in the evenings, then head up the Pão de Açucar (the only one of the two open at night) and marvel at the inward looking view and all the twinkling lights of the city. Of course, the optimal choice is to head up Corcovado during the day and then go to the Pão de Açucar just before sunset. This way, you can enjoy the view in the daylight as well as at night.

*** São Francisco da Penitencia – Ever wonder where all the gold in the world ended up? Obviously, it didn’t all end up in this church (the rest is spread out in several other Brazilian churches in Salvador, Ouro Preto and Recife), but, by golly a lot of it did. São Francisco da Penitencia was built between 1653 and 1773 and is a stunning example of Brazilian baroque. Have a seat, be overwhelmed, and wonder what São Francisco, a saint dedicated to a life of poverty, thinks (Carioca Metro Station).



*** Confeitaria Colombo – Confeitaria Colombo was the where’s where of the who’s who in turn of the century (XIX) in Rio. Head there either for lunch or high tea and imagine what life in upper crust Rio used to be like (Carioca Metro Station).



*** Taking a Walk/Jog/Stroll on Ipanema and Copacabana – Rio is about the beach, so take a walk, stroll or jog along two of the city’s most famous stretches. Stop for a refreshing agua de coco or cerveja gelada and enjoy people-watching. Sundays are particularly animated when one half of the boulevard is closed to traffic and the Hippy Fair is in full swing on Praça General Osório.

*** Eating - Rio has some pretty good eateries, so grab a copy of the Quarto Rodas guidebook or a copy of the Rio insert of Veja and enjoy a night of culinary delight - for all tastes and bugets. A particularly fun location is the top floor of Shopping Botafogo, overlooking Botafogo Bay and the Pão de Açucar. Nestled in on the eighth floor is a Japanese restaurant, an Italian cantina, and a rooftop pub - all good choices for gazing over the twinkling lights of the bay (Metro Botafogo).

*** Catching a Show – There is always something going on in Rio, so check the weekly entertainment guide in Veja and catch a concert or show. You never know who will be putting in an intimate performance in one of the city’s locales. Otherwise, just pop into a bar or botequim and catch a local act.



** Worth It **

** Museum of the Republic – Housed in the former presidential palace, the Museu da Republica and its gardens are worth a visit even if Getulio Vargas' bedroom, bloodied pyjamas and single bullet on display are slightly on the macabre side (Catete Metro Station).




** Lagoa Rodrigo de Freitas – Tired of the beach? Head to the peaceful Rodrigo de Freitas Lagoon in/behind Ipanema and go for a jog or stroll on the 7.2km pathway. At night the lagoon-side bars open making for a nice (if bizarrely isolated from reality) spot for a drink.


** Shopping in Ipanema – Ipanema and Leblon are the premier neighbourhoods in Rio and boutiques and cafes are chock-a-block on Rua Visconde de Piraja and its cross streets. Enjoy an afternoon of window (or real!) shopping.

** A Garota de Ipanema – Yeah, it’s touristy, slightly overpriced, and the career waiters seem to have an extra dose of surliness, but the Girl from Ipanema bar where Tom Jobim and Vicente de Moraes spent their days penning their music, is still worth a post-beach stop for a beer and petiscos.


* Nice, if you have time *

* São Bento Monastery – Slightly off the beaten track, the Mosteiro de São Bento is another site that ended up being a repository for colonial Brazil’s gold overload. Sunday mass comes replete with Gregorian Chants by the Benedictine monks that run the place. To get there, take the elevator at 40, rua Dom Geraldo to the fifth floor.

* Candelária – Built between 1775 and 1898 on the site of Rio’s first church, Nossa Senhora da Candelária is an island of calm in a sea of traffic. It is also the spot where a group of off-duty plain-clothes police open fired on a group of sleeping street children in 1993, killing eight of them. Simple painted bodylines offer commemoration to the young lives lost. (Metro Uruguiana)

* Nossa Senhora da Glória – another colonial gem with beautiful white and blue Portuguese tiles, Nossa Senhora da Glória was one of the royal family’s favourites during their days in Rio. (Metro Glória)

* Museums - Rio has tons of museums, many of which are worth a peek: the National Historical Museum (particularly if you are interested in leanring more about Brazil's monarchy), the Museum of Fine Arts, and the Museum of Modern Art to name just a few.

* Botanical Gardens – Rio’s botanical gardens were founded by Prince Regent Dom João in 1808 in his attempt to Euro-ise Rio. The gardens house over 8,000 species of plants and trees, including a pavilion dedicated to orchids.

* Floresta da Tijuca – One the world’s largest urban parks, the Floresta da Tijuca is 120 km² of Atlantic Rainforest, nestled in the middle of the city. The Visitors’ Centre organizes free hikes and excursions at a variety of levels of ease or difficulty. You won’t even be able to imagine that you are surrounded by a metropolis of eight million people!


Nice, but be careful

Santa Teresa – The bohemian neighbourhood of Santa Teresa is perched on a hill overlooking Rio’s Baia de Guanabara. Formerly home to Rio’s elite, Santa Teresa is now home to ateliers, restaurants, cafés, and a couple of museums. Accessible by Rio’s famous streetcar or bonde (right), Santa Teresa is also infamous for high levels of assaults and robberies. If you go, do not take anything of worth, carry only your cash for the day, and stick to the beaten track, no matter how enticing and safe the side streets look.


Forgetaboutit

A Orla à Noite – No matter how romantic it sounds, do not walk on any of Rio’s beaches past sundown. The side/boardwalk is fine. The sand is not.

O Centro no Domingo – Rio’s city centre, like most city centres in Latin America, is a place of business and commerce. On Saturdays and especially on Sundays, when businesses are closed, the centre becomes a lonely and isolated place. Best to keep visits to this part of town for weekdays only.

Rio: Same City, Worlds Apart


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Something I Could Live Without

Complain, complain, complain, complain. The girl lives on the beach for heaven's sake...

... yes, yes, I realise that life is good. But please, allow me to complain for a moment, just a brief second, about the ANTS THAT ARE INVADING MY HOUSE, MY SANCTUARY, MY RETREAT, MY OWN PRIVATE SPACE. I'm not talking about the no doubt various ant colonies that live in my kitchen. Those ants and I have reached détente. I don't poison them, and they don't bother me. Too much. And if I am feeling particularly generous, I leave a bit of spilled orange juice, mango skin, warm milk (!), or fancy bread (!!) for them to devour. We co-exist. No, I am not talking about those ants. I am talking about the nasty, egg-laying, no-respect-for-boundaries ants which created a thriving, and I do mean thriving, colony in the bubble wrap that enveloped a picture frame in its box in my breakfast nook and which then jumped all over me and tried to take me down with them when I decided to tidy the nook. These are the ants that I could do without.

They're drowned now.